“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” — Rikki Rogers
When you start a new goal, you’re likely determined to make it happen. But as you work at it day by day, you might not see the results you expected. As time goes on, reaching your goal seems impossible and you want to give up. (It’s happened to all of us at some point, so you’re not alone.) We’re here to tell you to stick with it!
We all know that trying to change behavior takes time. But what we don’t realize is that our progress throughout that time will not be linear. Meaning, if I put in an hour of work today, then I can expect X result tomorrow. And that will hold true for everyday that I work on my goal.
Instead, reaching our goals is more like boiling water. If you remember from a high school chemistry class, water boils at 212℉. To boil water on the stove, you would fill up your pot, place it on the heat, and wait. As the water heats up, you might not even notice any changes. Does that mean that nothing is happening? No! The water is gaining heat and energy until it finally hits 212℉. At that point, bubbles will rise and the water breaks out in a boil.
Now let’s think about this scenario in terms of our goals. If you start a goal today and keep working at it, you might feel like you’re the water. Nothing much is happening on the outside. But if you got tired of waiting for your water to boil, would you just give up on it? Absolutely not because you know that once it reaches the tipping point, everything will change.
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits coins this period as the “Valley of Disappointment.” This is the time when sticking to your goals is hard and a lot of work. It’s when you might feel discouraged or want to give up. BUT STICK WITH THEM! Once you can get past this valley of disappointment, you will feel the changes of your healthy habits.
“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” — Joshua J. Marine
Pushing Past the Valley of Disappointment
Getting past that valley of disappointment can be daunting, but we have some tips to help you push through and get to your results.
- Remember your motivation. We’ve talked previously about goals and the “why” behind them. For example, your goal might be to lose weight, but why? Maybe it’s to be more active with your kids. If you can remember the reason you set the goal in the first place, your motivation can help push you past discouragement.
- Change your mindset. Instead of thinking about the results you aren’t seeing, change your focus to reflect on all of the effort and stored potential you have put into your goal. Your effort and energy won’t be wasted!
- Be strategic. Check in with your progress on a regular basis. Analyze what you’ve been doing from a neutral perspective. What things need to change to help you meet your goals? How can you make a 1% improvement?
- Acknowledge where you are. If you don’t see results, it doesn’t mean you are back at square 1. When you are climbing a mountain, there will be times when the peak seems so far away, but you aren’t at the base of the mountain anymore, and that’s what matters!
- Trust your system. We’ve also discussed how a system, or a set process for change, can help you reach your goals. If you’ve established an efficient process, then you should trust it! For example, EatLove could be your system for losing weight. Trust the science and the dietitian-approved nutrition plan.
- Honor your struggle. Recognize and appreciate the struggles that you are going through. Change is hard and overcoming obstacles when they seem impossible is even harder. But the struggle will change you, and that’s something to be grateful for.
- Look for small wins. Maybe your goal is to lose 15 pounds in 5 months. If you aren’t shedding the weight, look for other areas in which you’ve made progress. Maybe your energy level has increased, or you have gone down a dress size. These are small wins that can help you push past discouragement.
We know that there are better things on the other side of the valley of disappointment. Don’t let yourself fall victim to that period of discouragement.
ASK YOURSELF THIS:
- What is my motivation for completing this goal?
- Are there any other small wins as a result of my hard work?
- What are my biggest obstacles to completing my goal?
TRY THIS:
If you are feeling down about your goals this week, choose one idea from the list above to help get you out of your funk and back to fighting through the valley of disappointment. You can record how you are feeling in the “Daily Notes” section of the EatLove log.